A week of hard(ish) conversations

Remember I started that job that didn't pay well, but it was something in a time where I was desperate?

Well, my last day was Friday.

Pros:

No more waking up at 5:30

No more driving an hour in God-knows-what kind of traffic

No more wearing a suit every day

Cons:

No more paycheck (even if it was teensie weensie)

No, I didn't just up and quit. I thought long and hard about the thought of staying there. I also gained information that I wasn't given in my interview. Information that may have swayed my decision in ever starting. I was finally able to ask my questions and I got a highly disappointing answer. The day I found out that the chance of them paying what I needed was very low, I was completely bummed. Then I had to go to work every day pretending to care when, mentally, I had already checked out.

I remembered during my interview, Holly asked me to be totally honest with her. If I ever got bored, or decided it wasn't for me, to tell her and she'd be happy to find me something else. So I called her on a Thursday right at 5:00 and spilled the beans. It would have been MUCH easier to just leave and never come back and assume they understood why. But I owed it to them to tell them it wasn't where I saw myself in a few years down the road, and that it would never pay me what I needed. I have never in my life sat down a boss and told them that it wasn't going to work. That was hard convo #1.

Once the owner got wind of my leaving, he scheduled a time to sit down and talk to me. So I gave him the same info that I gave Holly. And, bless him, he didn't beg me to stay. Sometimes I get caught up or put on the spot, and I'm too nice and I'll agree to almost anything. But thankfully, he could see that I just wasn't passionate about the company. He was very gracious, and so was I. But it was still hard to look him in the eye and tell him that HIS company, his blood, sweat, and tears, wasn't my calling. That was hard convo #2.

Some other night that week, on my long drive home, I was talking to my boyfriend. He is probably almost as stressed as I am about my lengthy and painful job search. So during the conversation, we both got really stressed out and started taking it out on each other. However, we finally decided to act like adults and share our feelings - stuff we've put off saying (because at times, there is no point in bringing it up when there's no solution). He feels very out of control of the whole situation, as do I. The situation being us having been together over a year, and never having lived in the same area code. He lives in Austin and I live in DFW. Does it make us not want to be together? No. We can't imagine not being together. He said if we have to continue doing this long-distance, then he's in it for the long haul. But wouldn't it be great to not have to schedule a week in advance to see each other? Wouldn't it be amazing to just have dinner together after work? Unwind with a glass of wine together? Cuddle up and watch a movie on a rainy day? HELL YES! We want that!!! So that was hard convo #3.

Now I start from square one tomorrow. I have a list of places I want to call/email/apply. Some in Austin, some here in DFW. My boyfriend was up visiting this weekend, and we had a wonderful weekend together. It really made all the craziness fade into the background. :)

I also want to add A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my beautiful sister, CJR. She turns the big 3-0 today. I just know that this year is going to be an amazing one for her and her new life with Lobster. Love you guys!

Four Christmas (in one day)

I attended my 2nd annual "MoB" (mother of boyfriend) gathering. And when I say gathering, I don't use that term lightly. We're talking 25 people (at least) at each party. They all live within walking distance of each other. So when you go visit boyfriend's mom, expect to have dinner with 12-30 others, each arriving with a hefty platter of food. We are never under-fed. ;)

This Christmas I knew it would be a short and sweet visit. Not because I'm busy and employed, but because boyfriend is.

We arrived at 12:30 p.m. on Saturday. Wait, let me back up for a second. I ended up stopping at no other than Starbucks (my mecca) to grab some java, and quickly (ha!) change my clothes into more presentable attire. Once I finally get into the bathroom, I try to change so quickly that I end up twisting my ankle while maneuvering my way into my jeans. Who does that? (It was also brought up later, and I felt silly explaining how one twists one's ankle at Starbucks). But I digress...

So 12:30, and we are already late for par-tay #1. It was at some aunts (??) house. We're really just there to take up space and use up oxygen, as this party is mostly about the kiddos. So we eat dinner #1 (I pace myself) and the four of us (me, boyfriend, his brother, and brother's girlfriend) crack dirty jokes in the corner, laugh and amuse ourselves while 5-year-olds open gifts and squeal with delight.

End of par-tay #1. We then sneak - literally sneak, because I was told "leave now...or else" and realize that obligatory family pictures were being taken. We sneak (run) back over to mom's house and watch football (ugh) until par-tay #2.

Par-tay #2 starts around 2:00 p.m. This party holds a whole different large group of people. I am more familiar with these folks. There was Derek who told me last year, and I quote, "Knowing this guy, I may not see you next year." What??!!! Did he really say that? Everyone gasped. He meant it as a jab at boyfriend that I would surely dump him by next year, but it came out more like he would bring a different girl next year. So, as I greeted Derek on year #2, I made sure to give him the stink eye...and a whole lotta crap!

Let's not leave out gift time. We all sat around and did a gift exchange. Just pass and open. Nothing fancy, organized, or quiet. Pretty much as much chaos as you'd expect with a room full of infants and children and smart-alecky 20 and 30-somethings (who, us???). I open my gift from his Mimi and Papaw and realize it's an 8 x 10 picture of boyfriend during his pubescent years!! AHAHAHAHAHA! I have never seen that boy embarrassed, but I think he was. The second his brother and brother's girlfriend cracked some jokes at his expense, the girlfriend opened her own picture of boyf's brother in 8th grade!! AHAHAHAH! But the funniest part was that Mimi was completely serious. Giving us those pics was no joke for Mimi! I told boyfriend I would proudly place it right on my desk. ;)

Par-tay #3. Getting closer. We are presented with yet another dinner. This is a different group of adults and children. I remember the 4 cute little girls well from last year. I became friends with one this year. I let her be my white elephant gift exchange helper. She ate it up! Boyfriend said later that as he was watching us unwrap a gift together, he realized that she looks like she could be my daughter. I guess we DO have the same features. I would have had to have her at 20 though. Totally do-able. (awww, he thinks about me as a mom??!!!)

Anyhoo, I ended up with the SAME white elephant gift as I received at christmas #1. I got a santa holding decorative Christmas towels. Last year it was a reindeer holding decorative Christmas towels. What are the odds? And where will I put them?

Par-tay #4 took place late at night, around 11:00 p.m. with just boyfriend's family; a total of seven. Whew! I was deliriously tired from all previous par-tays, and a speedy trip to Walmart for chillable red wine, but I managed to stay awake. Lots of fab gifts were exchanged.

One thing I learned this Christmas that I will NEVER again forget is this: Never, ever leave the plans to boyfriend. He doesn't know what's going on. Either because he has gotten the wrong information, or because he doesn't bother to ask. I try to make it clear to him that I am a girl and I need details. Well, I could not have felt like a bigger ASS when his brother and brother's girlfriend got me gifts and I had NOTHING to give them in return. I had asked again and again and he said not to worry about it. But I shall try not to dwell on the negative..

All complaints aside, a great, whirl wind-y, four Christmases all in one day! I survived year #2 and Derek better look out when I show up for year #3!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!

My Weekend In Numbers

I had a great weekend. My baby came to visit, I cooked for us (successfully) and there was much football. Had we done any Christmas shopping, then it may have just been the perfect weekend.

My weekend in numbers...

1.5 - number of hours it took me to make King Ranch Chicken. Turned out so good! I will totally make this again.

45 - number of minutes I allowed myself for a nap on Saturday.

10 - number of minutes I actually slept out of that 45 allowance.

4:30 - the time we arrived at the Cowboy's stadium to tailgate for the Big 12 Championship game.

25 - number of minutes I had to stand in line at the ONE port-o-potty near our tailgate. Miserable? Yes, considering it felt like ten degrees outside. And let's not discuss how disgusting the port-o-potty actually was. (shudder). Let's also not discuss how I dropped my glove on the nasty, E. coli covered floor (double shudder). And we may as well just leave out the fact that someone ahead of me went the big #2 and I had to endure it when my turn finally arrived (quadruple shudder!).

2 - number of hours that I froze my little butt off tailgating. I then sat in my car with my heater full blast and let my raw fingers thaw out. They started to itch like crazy (proof that I had minor frostbite as a child).

467 - number of ultimate nachos for $8.50. I ate about 7 of them. Then I had heartburn.

13/12 - final score of the Texas/Nebraska game! HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!

2:30 - time on Sunday that my man had to leave me. Wahh!!!

2:40 - time that he texted me, "Babe, I'm coming back for you. Pack up your stuff." I actually considered and let him know that I would not need much convincing. I could easily pack myself and my chihuahua. Might be fun. No? Then reality set in, and I don't have a job, which means I couldn't get a place of my own...so I guess that won't work.....

45 - number of degrees outside when I took a nice evening stroll - chihuahua wrapped up in my jacket and all. It was cold and misty, but at least I got my walk on.

Hope everyone else had an equally fab weekend.

iLove

Soooo....I recently decided to say farewell to a miserable cell phone service that has caused me to pull out my hair on multiple occasions, and switch to a provider who I believe is better (and sells the iphone). So long Blackberry. Helloooo iphone!

I must say - I'm completely loving it. My boyfriend and I planned it just right. We switched services together. This is important, you see, because he lives about 230 miles away and we depend on our phones as our main source of communication. And since we talk about 1600 minutes a month to each other alone, free mobile-to-mobile minutes is the ONLY way to go. So for the past week, because we decided to both get the iphone, our conversations have been going more like this:

"So what apps have you dowloaded?"

"Tap Tap revenge 2 is fun!!"

"Oooooh did you see how you can turn it sideways and get a wider screen?"

"Wow!! I'm actually getting service at my kitchen table/in bed/in the bathroom/on my back porch!"

"Wait - what will we do without blackberry messenger?" (<--still having withdrawals from this one. But still couldn't pay me to go back.)

Ok, that's enough iphone talk. For now.

My man and I had a good weekend together. He came up for a visit, and Friday night I decided to.........wait for it......cook him dinner. [insert dramatic music here].

So my day Friday went like this:

1) Wake up early (yawn) and go to my meeting. Nod, smile, politely chit chat, and haul ass out of there. Time is of the essence!

2) Go to the grocery store for 1 thing: chicken.

3) Proceed to spend $107 on groceries. (What???)

4) Get home, unpack, make coffee, clean everything on the planet.

5) May have downloaded an iphone app or two while cleaning.

6) Start cooking dinner, had to get on facebook and ask for help on how to cook my chicken.

7) Chicken boils over and makes scary burning noises.

8) Save chicken and cook the rest of the dinner.

9) Boyfriend pulls in at EXACTLY the moment the oven beeps (go me!!!)

10) Pour glass of favorite red wine and play some nice music.

11) Dinner turns out well (yay!) and he loved it.

In conclusion, I successfully made a dinner that didn't suck. I also did not start any small fires or melt any kitchen utensils. I consider that a success as well.

The rest of our weekend was fun too. We went out with some of my friends on Saturday night, had some dinner and went to a new bar that just opened. It was rather nice. Then we spent Sunday (today) being complete and total BLOBS on the couch, which we don't get to do nearly enough together. So we made it a point to be lazy today, but that wasn't until after we cooked a big and yummy breakfast. Then we sat and watched Travel channel and cuddled up with my dog (who always has to be right in the middle of us. The warmest and smallest space he can find).

He left today around 1:30 and it's always hard to say goodbye. But it's ok because I know that eventually we'll live in the same town. I don't know when and I don't know where, but it will all fall into place when it's supposed to. (Look at me and my positive thinking today! haha)