Another One Bites The Dust

I went on my first job interview in the three months of trying to land a job. Was I at all excited about this interview? Nope.

Did I feel obligated to go since it's the first interview I've been offered. You bet.

So I drive an hour and find the place. I go inside and expect a cattle call of other unemployed folks who, like me, are desperate for a job. Instead, it's just me. Then I go into this office that clearly belongs to no one (blank walls, clean desk, no computer) and interview with a short hispanic guy. He asked me a list of 5 basic interview questions (i.e., what is your favorite color? What is the airspeed velocity of a coconut laden swallow?) (just kidding).

The "interview" takes a total of ten minutes, if that. Then I am dismissed and told that I would be given a call around 4 p.m. if I'm a good fit. Then there would be a series of two more in-depth interviews. Oh joy.

Here's what I wanted to say: "You do realize that this 10 minute chit-chat could have been done BY PHONE, don't you? Then I would have known enough about this so-called "job" and not wasted my time and make-up. And in turn, you could have hired someone who believes they might actually make money off of this crap."

But instead I said: "Thank you."

At exactly 3:40 p.m. I get a phone call. I don't answer. Five minutes later, I listen to the very vague voice message. Then I call back and I'm offered a job. I very politely tell them thanks but no thanks.

Forgive me, but I just don't think I want to go door-to-door selling cable packages. I didn't think you could do door-to-door sales anymore. This was also a legal pyramid scheme and commission pay only. So if I didn't get shot trespassing, I probably still couldn't pay my bills off of commission only.

Sorry Charlie.