Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Four Christmas (in one day)

I attended my 2nd annual "MoB" (mother of boyfriend) gathering. And when I say gathering, I don't use that term lightly. We're talking 25 people (at least) at each party. They all live within walking distance of each other. So when you go visit boyfriend's mom, expect to have dinner with 12-30 others, each arriving with a hefty platter of food. We are never under-fed. ;)

This Christmas I knew it would be a short and sweet visit. Not because I'm busy and employed, but because boyfriend is.

We arrived at 12:30 p.m. on Saturday. Wait, let me back up for a second. I ended up stopping at no other than Starbucks (my mecca) to grab some java, and quickly (ha!) change my clothes into more presentable attire. Once I finally get into the bathroom, I try to change so quickly that I end up twisting my ankle while maneuvering my way into my jeans. Who does that? (It was also brought up later, and I felt silly explaining how one twists one's ankle at Starbucks). But I digress...

So 12:30, and we are already late for par-tay #1. It was at some aunts (??) house. We're really just there to take up space and use up oxygen, as this party is mostly about the kiddos. So we eat dinner #1 (I pace myself) and the four of us (me, boyfriend, his brother, and brother's girlfriend) crack dirty jokes in the corner, laugh and amuse ourselves while 5-year-olds open gifts and squeal with delight.

End of par-tay #1. We then sneak - literally sneak, because I was told "leave now...or else" and realize that obligatory family pictures were being taken. We sneak (run) back over to mom's house and watch football (ugh) until par-tay #2.

Par-tay #2 starts around 2:00 p.m. This party holds a whole different large group of people. I am more familiar with these folks. There was Derek who told me last year, and I quote, "Knowing this guy, I may not see you next year." What??!!! Did he really say that? Everyone gasped. He meant it as a jab at boyfriend that I would surely dump him by next year, but it came out more like he would bring a different girl next year. So, as I greeted Derek on year #2, I made sure to give him the stink eye...and a whole lotta crap!

Let's not leave out gift time. We all sat around and did a gift exchange. Just pass and open. Nothing fancy, organized, or quiet. Pretty much as much chaos as you'd expect with a room full of infants and children and smart-alecky 20 and 30-somethings (who, us???). I open my gift from his Mimi and Papaw and realize it's an 8 x 10 picture of boyfriend during his pubescent years!! AHAHAHAHAHA! I have never seen that boy embarrassed, but I think he was. The second his brother and brother's girlfriend cracked some jokes at his expense, the girlfriend opened her own picture of boyf's brother in 8th grade!! AHAHAHAH! But the funniest part was that Mimi was completely serious. Giving us those pics was no joke for Mimi! I told boyfriend I would proudly place it right on my desk. ;)

Par-tay #3. Getting closer. We are presented with yet another dinner. This is a different group of adults and children. I remember the 4 cute little girls well from last year. I became friends with one this year. I let her be my white elephant gift exchange helper. She ate it up! Boyfriend said later that as he was watching us unwrap a gift together, he realized that she looks like she could be my daughter. I guess we DO have the same features. I would have had to have her at 20 though. Totally do-able. (awww, he thinks about me as a mom??!!!)

Anyhoo, I ended up with the SAME white elephant gift as I received at christmas #1. I got a santa holding decorative Christmas towels. Last year it was a reindeer holding decorative Christmas towels. What are the odds? And where will I put them?

Par-tay #4 took place late at night, around 11:00 p.m. with just boyfriend's family; a total of seven. Whew! I was deliriously tired from all previous par-tays, and a speedy trip to Walmart for chillable red wine, but I managed to stay awake. Lots of fab gifts were exchanged.

One thing I learned this Christmas that I will NEVER again forget is this: Never, ever leave the plans to boyfriend. He doesn't know what's going on. Either because he has gotten the wrong information, or because he doesn't bother to ask. I try to make it clear to him that I am a girl and I need details. Well, I could not have felt like a bigger ASS when his brother and brother's girlfriend got me gifts and I had NOTHING to give them in return. I had asked again and again and he said not to worry about it. But I shall try not to dwell on the negative..

All complaints aside, a great, whirl wind-y, four Christmases all in one day! I survived year #2 and Derek better look out when I show up for year #3!