So we meet again, lofty loft

So remember my tiny dilemma - to loft or not to loft? Well, once again, that is the question.

On complete and utter accident (note: I'm inherently random and kinda all over the place so I come across a lot of things by chance), I found some loft apartments above this adorable, small shopping area with little adorable boutiques and restaurants and wine bars, etc. The town is ranked one of the best places to live in the nation. This is the type of place I dream of. Where I look up at the balconies and sigh and say to myself, "Oh, wouldn't that be sah-weet?"

Well, I decided to be random once again and call the property manager and go take a look at one of the units. Just in case. It's not hurting anyone. Well, except me when I get excited and can't stop thinking about the place and lay awake at night planning out my living room furniture arrangement. Sigh... I guess it hurts a little.

Anyway, for where these apartments are and for what they are, it's a FAB price. They are running a special where you get 2 months free and I would prorate that, which makes it pretty affordable (affordable for those who have a clue what their commission checks will look like, and I don't. Yet.)

Friday after work, I sat outside of the loft leasing office for 45 minutes. No lie. I got an expense reimbursement check and had enough for the deposit. I could have put a deposit down to hold my fabulous little loft with a view. But I just couldn't make it work (financially) in my brain. So I prayed about it, called my mom, drove in circles, called my mom, went to Starbucks, texted my mom, drove around again, and finally left. I'm sure a few tenants have already decided that I'm a stalker. Whatev.

I just couldn't make it work on paper and it depressed me to no end. So, I decided I am going to continue to pray about taking that leap of faith. I have some brainstorming (and re-budgeting) to do and if the unit is still available once I make my decision, then I'll know I did the right thing.

I can't wait to see what lies ahead! (please be the loft, please be the loft, please be the loft...)

Welcome to the workforce....again

Well, I start my new job tomorrow. While 75% of me CAN'T WAIT, the other 25% of me is a bit worried. The only reason I don't look forward to it is because of the abnormally long commute. The first few weeks are going to....well....suck. I will have to get up at the ungodly hour of 5 a.m. and then won't get home until 7:30 or so. Then I will have a whopping 2 hours of ME time before I must go to bed. Blah.

(All the more reason to consume lots and lots of coffee.)

On a more positive note, once I get past the first few ugly weeks of the drive and training all day, I think I'm really going to like it. When I interviewed, it was for an in-office position doing pretty much the same thing day after day. A friend, and sorority sister from college, was going to be the one training me. Well, my interviewer had other plans for me. He asked if I would be interested in sales because I had a "sales-y" personality. (and no, he didn't mean used car sales, but a relatable and make-you-feel-at-home personality type) (at least that's what I tell myself). I told him that I'd be thrilled to get into sales for their company, if they would have me.

Fast forward a week, and he offers me a job. Not the office job (that doesn't pay great) but the sales job that I didn't even know I wanted until the interview! I gladly accepted! All logic and reason was telling me that he wouldn't offer me a sales job because he said they didn't normally hire someone without a true sales background. Then he mentioned not having any open positions for sales at this time. Then my imagination got away from me and I started thinking that maybe, just maybe, he was creating a new position for a newbie like me. That maybe he liked me enough to find a place for me instead of losing me altogether. But perhaps that was just wishful thinking...

But that's exactly what he did! He found a place for me! A position that was created with me in mind. :) And I figure, if they believe in me so much, there's no reason for me not to. I know that if I work hard, I can really kick butt!

So you are now looking at the newest member of the sales team for a Dallas-based Title company. I get a territory that hasn't been touched yet. They are also gonna give me a blackberry, laptop, car allowance, etc. And when God decides it's the right time, I will plan a move closer to work. I'm thinking that might be around April.

Hoooray!!! God is good. Now I just pray I can do this commute for several weeks until everything falls into place.

I will be tempted to do this on a daily basis...

And on warm days, maybe this will be the ticket....

And if it really does snow in Texas this week, I may get stuck in this unfortunate scenario...

But let's hope that's not the case!!!

A week of hard(ish) conversations

Remember I started that job that didn't pay well, but it was something in a time where I was desperate?

Well, my last day was Friday.

Pros:

No more waking up at 5:30

No more driving an hour in God-knows-what kind of traffic

No more wearing a suit every day

Cons:

No more paycheck (even if it was teensie weensie)

No, I didn't just up and quit. I thought long and hard about the thought of staying there. I also gained information that I wasn't given in my interview. Information that may have swayed my decision in ever starting. I was finally able to ask my questions and I got a highly disappointing answer. The day I found out that the chance of them paying what I needed was very low, I was completely bummed. Then I had to go to work every day pretending to care when, mentally, I had already checked out.

I remembered during my interview, Holly asked me to be totally honest with her. If I ever got bored, or decided it wasn't for me, to tell her and she'd be happy to find me something else. So I called her on a Thursday right at 5:00 and spilled the beans. It would have been MUCH easier to just leave and never come back and assume they understood why. But I owed it to them to tell them it wasn't where I saw myself in a few years down the road, and that it would never pay me what I needed. I have never in my life sat down a boss and told them that it wasn't going to work. That was hard convo #1.

Once the owner got wind of my leaving, he scheduled a time to sit down and talk to me. So I gave him the same info that I gave Holly. And, bless him, he didn't beg me to stay. Sometimes I get caught up or put on the spot, and I'm too nice and I'll agree to almost anything. But thankfully, he could see that I just wasn't passionate about the company. He was very gracious, and so was I. But it was still hard to look him in the eye and tell him that HIS company, his blood, sweat, and tears, wasn't my calling. That was hard convo #2.

Some other night that week, on my long drive home, I was talking to my boyfriend. He is probably almost as stressed as I am about my lengthy and painful job search. So during the conversation, we both got really stressed out and started taking it out on each other. However, we finally decided to act like adults and share our feelings - stuff we've put off saying (because at times, there is no point in bringing it up when there's no solution). He feels very out of control of the whole situation, as do I. The situation being us having been together over a year, and never having lived in the same area code. He lives in Austin and I live in DFW. Does it make us not want to be together? No. We can't imagine not being together. He said if we have to continue doing this long-distance, then he's in it for the long haul. But wouldn't it be great to not have to schedule a week in advance to see each other? Wouldn't it be amazing to just have dinner together after work? Unwind with a glass of wine together? Cuddle up and watch a movie on a rainy day? HELL YES! We want that!!! So that was hard convo #3.

Now I start from square one tomorrow. I have a list of places I want to call/email/apply. Some in Austin, some here in DFW. My boyfriend was up visiting this weekend, and we had a wonderful weekend together. It really made all the craziness fade into the background. :)

I also want to add A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my beautiful sister, CJR. She turns the big 3-0 today. I just know that this year is going to be an amazing one for her and her new life with Lobster. Love you guys!

God Works in Mysterious Ways

Guess what folks? I got myself a job.

In a nutshell, I applied for 842 jobs (on average) over a four month span. In that time, I was only called in for 2 interviews. The first interview was explained in this blog, and it was a shady pyramid scheme. The second interview was a decent and legitimate job.

And I got it.

Out of the 842 jobs I applied for, I'd say about 45% of them were in Austin, Texas. I was completely open (and mentally prepared) to move south to be closer to Happy Pants and start over in Austin, seeing as how I feel like I'm stuck in a rut here in the DF Dub.

But, oddly enough, the job I landed is in Fort Worth. On one hand, it's perfect. I abso-freakin-lutely love Fort Worth and have wanted to move to that area for a long time. I had been praying that a door would open where I needed to be, whether that was Austin, Fort Worth, or wherever. I ran into slammed door after slammed door and nothing came as smoothly or incredibly easy as this job.

I went to this particular business's website and found an internal position open, clicked "apply," attached my resume and hit "send." That was it. A whopping 25 minutes later, I get a call from Holly, who schedules me for an interview the following day. I go interview the next morning, and the interview goes so well that she calls the CEO and sees if he has time to meet me. He does. So I go meet with him. I feel that interview #1 went swimmingly. Interview #2 was questionable, as he was not as easy to read. But it was still a pleasant meeting.

On my drive home after a morning full of handshakes, nods, smiles, and politically correct responses, I'm exhausted. I drive home (in the snow, mind you) and I get a wave of depression. It's ugly. I want to shake it off but I keep feeling discouraged. I would never have considered this my dream job by any means. It may not pay enough and I may not even like it. But it's a job and I really need a job. And I realize that the CEO may not have even liked me, so I may have screwed up the only job that's been thrown at me. Too many thoughts running through my head.

Later, I anxiously await a phone call that never comes. I get really nervous because now I kinda want the job...I think. I go to bed that night, not knowing what the hell I want or need anymore. I'm at my wits end. I'm so tired of the hunt, the waiting, the rejections, the unanswered emails. I'm not sure I can do this much longer.

It was around 3 a.m. that I popped awake (BING!) and I remembered a dream I had about three weeks ago.

I dreamed that I was driving around with my boyfriend, looking for a place I was supposed to interview. After I found it, I walked in and spoke to a woman at the front desk of this really neat place. She told me that the CEO was in a meeting and would be out to meet with me, but to beware, because he was a bit intimidating. Once he came out, I realized two things. A) he wasn't intimidating, and B) he had a copy of my resume in his hand. I didn't have my resume on me and so I was relieved when he miraculously had one. He told me that he got it via email. Whew! Then he walked me over to a meeting table and we began a meeting. I felt important already. I really liked this place and this feeling.

So the reason I startled awake at 3 a.m. was because I suddenly realized how this dream paralleled with my real-life interview that day. Why, you ask?

1) The woman who interviewed me made me feel very important.

2) She then called the CEO and asked him to interview with me.

3) When we both realized I was without an extra copy of my resume, she emailed one to him.

4) She warned me that he may be intimidating.

5) When I met him, I decided he didn't intimidate me.

6) He came in with a printed copy of my resume (that I didn't supply him with).

7) I was wearing the same deep pink shirt and blazer that I wore in my dream.

Holy schnikeys! Do you see why I was freaked out?

So this gave me a sense of renewed hope that for whatever reason, whether I understand it or not, God was reassuring me about this job. Maybe telling me not to give up hope yet?

Two days later, I get the call from Holly congratulating me on my new job.

So why here and not Austin? I don't know. Happy Pants and I are both slightly bummed that an Austin job didn't pan out, but it's okay. We will be in the same city when the time is right. And apparently, I'm needed here for a bit longer. I just have to keep an open mind and a faithful heart.

Here's to a happy 2010 and a new job! I hope that you, too, had a new year filled with pleasant and unexpected surprises.

Here's Your Time. Spend It Wisely

Last night

11:00 pm - searched Craigslist for part-time/full-time/temp/ANY jobs and emailed all the links to myself. Total of 16 potential/maybe/possible jobs. Good news? Sixteen is actually my lucky number.

Midnight - Tried to go to sleep. And tried.....and tried....

12:30 am - Not tired at all. Neither is puppy. Give up and take Tylenol PM.

Today

9:00 am - Wake up (unwillingly). Realize I'm still very groggy from the Tylenol and pass back out only to have weird dreams.

10:15 am - Wake up (startled). Dreamed I was at some massive festival/event and, apparently, we found a shortcut, (but this shortcut was also considered trespassing) and suddenly a cop was threatening to arrest all of us. Then, just as suddenly, a civilian was pointing a gun at the cop (who was sitting RIGHT next to me) and I feared being shot on accident and also feared being arrested for a really stupid reason.

10:30 am - Make suitable breakfast. Drink not-so-fabulous coffee (need to invest in a good espresso machine so I don't have to drink coffee that either tastes like tar or poo, but that's another task for another day).

11:00 am - Force myself to go for a run. Feel very inspired by good music, thanks to Pandora radio for iPhone. Fight my way through random hurricane-strength winds, and finish off by doing crunches and lifting weights. Woo hoo!

11:50 am - Give myself smiley face sticker on calendar for working out today. Sounds very Kindergarten-ish, I know, but it works for me.

1:00 pm - Watch Cesar Milan work his magic on neurotic dog behavior (I always blame the owner). Practice mad Cesar-like skills on my own dog who barks incessantly at EVERYTHING lately. Go ahead....you can blame me too.

2:15 pm - Apply for 5 of the 16 jobs I discovered last night. Get frustrated because I'm tired of hunting for a job that I only want to keep temporarily anyway. What happened to money growing on trees? Where are these trees and why don't I have one?

2:30 pm - Call a not-so-local YMCA and find out that I can get 3 free passes. I would like to join their spinning classes. Trying to decide if I want to go bright and early tomorrow morning. I'd have to leave my house at 8 am, and since I have now reverted back to being a nocturnal college kid, that might be a challenge. (incase you have forgotten...jobless + sleepless = sleeping too late and dreaming of hooligans with guns).

4:00 pm - Decide to skip watching Oprah today. The topic of Mad Men and the 60's theme don't exactly thrill me. Decide to play on Blogger and find 2 new blogs to follow!

5:20 pm - Boyfriend calls me and I'm surprised it's already "after work" time. Where did the time go? I tell him I'm blogging and he (lovingly) threatens to send me to Bloggers Anonymous, as usual. Hehe.

And now, here I sit. It's 7:55. I haven't heard anything back from any of my jobs. I feel that I got a big, fat NOTHING done today, while I guess in truth, I really did accomplish a few things. Meanwhile, a big storm is blowing in, which explains the hurricane force winds earlier today.

Noteworthy quotes about spending time wisely:

"Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows."

~Pope Paul VI

"All that really belongs to us is time; even he who has nothing else has that."

~Baltasar Gracian

"Now is the only time there is. Make your now wow, your minutes miracles, and your days pay. Your life will have been magnificently lived and invested, and when you die you will have made a difference."

~Mark Victor Hansen

"Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator."

~Robert Orben

Off to slave away (i.e., pre-heat oven) preparing a vegetable lasagna. Peace out, Bloggers!

My "Boo...Hooray" For The Day

Boo... my tummy has been upset for the past 2 nights at 9:30 sharp and lasts til about 11:00 when I fall asleep (very uncomfortably).

Hooray! - when I wake up in the morning, it's as if nothing was wrong.  What's up with that?

Boo... my check engine light came on today :(   Must get that checked out tomorrow.

Hooray! - I traded in 6 of my old DVDs and bought a new movie (ok, ok, I bought Twilight) for only six bucks! Also, I finished reading New Moon last night. I will have to eventually start Eclipse. 

Boo... for not having any money in my bank account. Seriously...I texted my bank today (yeah, we're tight like that) and it said I had "$0.00" available.  How sad...   But seriously, I think it's wrong. There must be $5 or something in my account. 

Hooray! - I get paid in 5 (count them. Five) days.  I will pay back my credit card at that time. Ugh...it's depressing having to use a credit card you very proudly haven't touched in months!

Boo...to this killer headache I got randomly at 2:30 (I blame Verizon).

Hooray! - Excedrin extra strength is my new BFF. 

Dear...

Hello fellow bloggers and/or blog readers! I have not written in some time and decided a new blog was well overdue. I had many thoughts in the car while driving to work this morning. And they went something like this...


Dear coffee,

You complete me. I love you.



Dear Money Stealers (i.e., taxes and insurance companies),

I don't like you. We are not friends. Quit taking all my money.



Dear God,

Thank you, thank you, thank you for my new job. I love it. I'm so blessed to have stumbled upon this opportunity. Please let me keep it.



Dear Boyfriend,

I can't wait to see you this weekend. Also, I neeeed to know what you want for your birthday. I want to buy you a Wii but quite frankly, I don't have the money right now. Crap.
Also, please see below..



Dear brain of mine,

What the heck is wrong with you? You forget EVERYTHING Boyfriend ever tells you. On top of that, you forget EVERYTHING you ever tell Boyfriend and end up repeating yourself 5 or 6 times. Why?!?! And when did this start? Either you have 20-something Alzheimer's or adult onset ADD. Seriously....when did this happen. You used to be so sharp. :(



Dear Taylor Swift,

Shut. Up.

Sorry that was a bit mean. But seriously, shut it.



Dear February,

I love you. I really do. But can you please figure out whether you want it to be winter or spring? When will you make up your mind? One day it's nearly 80 degrees and the next day it's 40! What IS that? People are getting sick left and right and I really don't want to catch their germs right now.



Dear everyone who is older than me,

I am not 19. I am 26. Yes, I understand I might look 19, but again, I am 26. I have not only graduated high school, but college too! Can you believe it? ;) So please, please, please treat me with a little respect. I'm freakin' 4 years away from being thirty.. Oh goodness. I'm a little bothered by that...

Your truly,
~C